today's training was really like idk what okay.... my beep test was a total failure. i deproved damn lots and i didnt even put in all my effort.i believe, i could have continued running, but i gave up.and that was totally dumb. i really wanted to cry okay, when we were having team talk.
i didnt put in my best. and i didnt even train and put in my 100% during the training. i keep asking everyone to be serious but i know i wasnt serious myself.i gave up so easily and didnt even feel like running.idk whats wrong with me seriously... i think mslin and the whole team is very disappointed in me as well as themselves.i think we should ALL TAKE TRAINING MORE SERIOUSLY.we are like joking and all.its alright to have fun during training otherwise it'll be so boring but we are not even trying to do the drills properly.after coming to one year, we still cannot do 45 properly. how are we even going to go to the zonals next year.even if we do, we might just get trashed.im sorry im saying this.mayb i might not make it into the team,who knows.since im like slacking so much nowadays,with the reason that i have knee pain andmy finger is injured so many times.

anyway,thankyou everyone who tried to make me not depressed.and minyee almost got to lvl7. and when the seniors didnt make it to lvl 7 they ran 4suicides.they are so determined and idk.im just jealous of all the seniors.really.and jealous of gloria,she puts in alot of effort to train.when she join the seniors for trg on monday, sometimes she will even come to our training.i think shes really having fun and all.im not saying im not lah.but i think i had more fun when training with the sec2s, and im really sorry to say this.sorry, you dont really have to care about what im writing.cos im just feeling like an ass now.

okay, i think im going to sleep alr.i have to nurse my broken finger and broken idk what.and my knee is getting worse.i had the urge to just sit on the steps when i was walking home. i couldnt stand the pain.and i think thats what makes me such a weakling.cos i dont have endurance and the strength to carry on when i face problems or setbacks.kill me now.thanks.

okay, byee.
life sucks.

today's training was really like idk what okay.... my beep test was a total failure. i deproved damn lots and i didnt even put in all my effort.i believe, i could have continued running, but i gave up.and that was totally dumb. i really wanted to cry okay, when we were having team talk.
i didnt put in my best. and i didnt even train and put in my 100% during the training. i keep asking everyone to be serious but i know i wasnt serious myself.i gave up so easily and didnt even feel like running.idk whats wrong with me seriously... i think mslin and the whole team is very disappointed in me as well as themselves.i think we should ALL TAKE TRAINING MORE SERIOUSLY.we are like joking and all.its alright to have fun during training otherwise it'll be so boring but we are not even trying to do the drills properly.after coming to one year, we still cannot do 45 properly. how are we even going to go to the zonals next year.even if we do, we might just get trashed.im sorry im saying this.mayb i might not make it into the team,who knows.since im like slacking so much nowadays,with the reason that i have knee pain andmy finger is injured so many times.

anyway,thankyou everyone who tried to make me not depressed.and minyee almost got to lvl7. and when the seniors didnt make it to lvl 7 they ran 4suicides.they are so determined and idk.im just jealous of all the seniors.really.and jealous of gloria,she puts in alot of effort to train.when she join the seniors for trg on monday, sometimes she will even come to our training.i think shes really having fun and all.im not saying im not lah.but i think i had more fun when training with the sec2s, and im really sorry to say this.sorry, you dont really have to care about what im writing.cos im just feeling like an ass now.

okay, i think im going to sleep alr.i have to nurse my broken finger and broken idk what.and my knee is getting worse.i had the urge to just sit on the steps when i was walking home. i couldnt stand the pain.and i think thats what makes me such a weakling.cos i dont have endurance and the strength to carry on when i face problems or setbacks.kill me now.thanks.

okay, byee.
life sucks.